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I’m not exactly the paragon of morality myself, after all. My mind then wandered to Brad. Brad Facelli. One of the stars of Deering’s football team when I was only a freshman, and one fucking hottie to say the least. He was the second, or I suppose the third guy, to take me on this very bed. He was an arrogant asshole, that was for sure, and one rough fuck as I remember. Seems he takes a lot after his father. I wonder what his father would think if he knew his son had gotten to me before he had. His daughter too even… I tried to hide a laugh at the thought that after tonight, Mrs. Facelli will be the only one in their immediate family that I haven’t fucked. Eventually I hear the shower shut off and the door opens and closes again. I hear Mr. Facelli walk back out into the bedroom, and I remember just where I am and who I am with. I curse myself for being so… unprofessional. I’m supposed to be an innocent virgin tonight, and I can already feel how slippery my thighs have gotten just. I feel that she very much wanted you to be okay with it. But in your own way, of course.”“Yeah, and in her own way ... I see that now. And the thing about it is,” I murmured, “I love her no matter what. I don’t care if she never comes back to me, but I really, really just want her to be happy. That’s all. And for a while, I felt like I had to be the one to give her that. But it doesn’t have to be me. That’s ... selfish, in a way.”“I understand.”“Huh ... So selfish ... Yeah, it is, and why would she ever want to be with someone like that? It’s literally the opposite of everything she believes ... Of who she is...”I took a clearing breath, swishing aside the endless unknowns. They weren’t worth the energy anymore, to be honest. I turned to Clara.“Can I help you make lunch?” I asked.“Of course. Are you okay, though?”I nodded. “I have a lot to think about, so I’m sorry if I’m a bit out of it. But I’m actually feeling alive again.”“If you need an ear, speak. And if you need silence, I can.
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